Hello. I want to speak about ‘challenge’ from an Earth Wisdom Perspective. There’s many kinds of challenge in life. Those challenges that we give ourselves when we decide to run a marathon or climb a mountain. And then there are challenges, of course, that life inevitably brings us, for example, when we lose somebody we really care about, it challenges us to the core.
But the kind of challenges I want to speak about now, are interpersonal challenges that we give to each other. And I’m speaking this because I see in our world, we have these colossal structures, often with one person at the top, a king or queen, President, famous person, chief executive.
But often there’s a leader at the top, and the higher up they are, the less likely they are for the people around them to challenge them. And looking at events in the news, I can see how people at the top are not being challenged or given feedback enough.
So how can we bring this more into our world? Here’s a protocol of how we can ‘bring’ a challenge to another person.
Practice 1
First of all, when you see something that you feel you can challenge somebody you know about, very important, the first thing is to take it into yourself: How am I like that? Is there any little amount, homeopathic amount, for example, that I also do things like that?
It’s very important to take it into ourselves and reflect on it. Because otherwise we’ll be coming to the other person from a sort of superior place, and that makes it really difficult for them to actually hear the challenge.
We don’t want to be talking down, you know, telling the other person off from a kind of parental place.
Practice 2
The second thing is to really make a space to approach the other person and ask them, are they open to receiving a loving challenge. That gives them a space to actually open. They might be in the middle of something. They might not be in the space. They might actually say, not right now, please, can we talk later? Hopefully they’ll open to that.
Practice 3
And then the third thing is to actually deliver it as clearly as possible, as I say, not in a superior sort of a way, because otherwise the other person can get really defensive. I know I’ve often been really defensive in different ways, you know, trying to change the subject or deny it or point out the other person’s faults.
But if we deliver it like that, really clearly, concisely, so they can understand, and then they may want to respond there and then, or they may want to go away and reflect on it and give you their response later. But if they have a response, you might want to talk it over. You know, help them to see what it is, for themselves. You don’t want to be telling them what they need to learn.
Often, you’re simply offering a mirror to the other person. And it’s as challenging for us if we’re bringing a challenge as it is for the other person, really. We’re all learning and growing together. This is my offering today. Thank you.
FAQs
How can I challenge someone in a loving and respectful way?
To challenge someone lovingly, first reflect on your own behaviour and notice if you share any of the patterns you’re challenging. Then ask for permission: check if they’re open to receiving feedback at that moment. Finally, deliver the challenge clearly and concisely, avoiding a superior or parental tone, so they can hear you without becoming defensive.
What is a healthy protocol for giving interpersonal feedback or “loving challenges”?
A helpful protocol is: Self-reflection – Ask “How am I like this too?” to avoid coming from superiority. Create space and ask consent . Gently ask if they’re open to a loving challenge now or prefer another time. Clear delivery and follow-up. Share your feedback clearly and simply, then allow them to respond or reflect later. Support them to see it for themselves rather than telling them what they must learn.
How can we safely challenge leaders or people in positions of power?
When challenging leaders, start with inner reflection so you’re not approaching them from judgment or hierarchy. Then request a time to talk and ask if they’re open to feedback. Offer the challenge as a mirror rather than an accusation: describe what you see and how it impacts things, and invite their reflection. This helps leaders receive challenge without feeling attacked, supporting healthier and more accountable leadership structures.
